"You don’t frighten us English pig dogs, go and boil your bottoms you sons of a silly person."

"I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

Now, go away, or I shall taunt you a second time-a!"

Fetchez la Vache! 3-in-1 Game Set includes:

Custom-designed beechwood board, 2 dice catapults, 21 meeples (20 human, 1 bovine), 4 dice, 1 doubling cube, 30 checkers, and rules for THREE games.

1 - Fetchez la Vache! A madcap backgammon-based game that pits two teams against each other in a race to capture a cow and leave the field with it alive, all while dodging catapulted farm animals and scathing insults French taunts. (Note: this activity requires the core book.)

2 - Squashez l'Anglaise! Flip the board over and let fly with this point-based, historically accurate, terribly violent castle-siege simulator.

3 – Backgammon! A fully functional backgammon board (for those who wish to appear smarter than people who play checkers but can’t be arsed with chess).

Specifications and components:

A custom-designed and illustrated birchwood game board.
Approximate dimensions: Open: 17.13" long x 21.65" wide x 1.48" high (43.5cm x 55cm x 3.75cm); Closed: 17.13" long x 10.83" wide x 1.48" high (43.5cm x 27.5cm x 3.75cm).
21 printed wooden meeples of varying shapes and designs (knights, priests, retainers, and the like...plus the cow, of course).
2 fully functional and highly dangerous to mice wooden dice catapults.
A pair of woefully under tested, wonderfully launchable dice.
A pair of cow bags for storage. Storage of game components. Not recommended for cows.
Oh and all the bits for backgammon, too: 15 black checkers, 15 white checkers, and 1 doubling cube
Castle wall divider for increased difficulty and more realistic farm animal trajectories.